The Beauty In Not Knowing

I have very bad vision. Have since I was a child. It sucks when I go camping and I want to lay out and fall asleep watching the stars. It sucks when I want to go running and my eyes need a break from my contacts. Recently my eye got infected and I had to wear my glasses for a few weeks. It sucked wearing my glasses because when I hike or run they slide off my nose when it gets sweaty and my depth perception isn't very good with them. So I stopped wearing them. I just went "blind" as it were. And then I realized that I can still see with my glasses off, it's just different, although I probably shouldn't drive without them. I've always been more of a "lumper" than a "splitter" as we call it in geology. Maybe that's how I was born to be? Things kind of blend together in my natural world. Maybe I'm not meant to recognize people from far off. Maybe I'm not supposed to see everything perfectly clear. Maybe I'm just meant to see clearly enough. And then I started thinking about this in terms of other things in my life. I tend to be impatient and want to know the ending right away. I always want to know what boys are thinking. I always want to know if I made a mistake or not. And that's fine, but I get frustrated when I don't and I think that's my problem. Maybe the beauty is in not knowing? You know how parents sometimes shelter their children from things they don't need to know, maybe because they are painful or wouldn't understand? Well maybe someone designed it that way. I'll give you one further. Personally, I believe in God. Long story short I take solace believing that some entity out there knows exactly how many hairs are on my head at any given time. I see how I have been blessed in my life and it seems like more than just a coincidence. There are people out there who don't believe in God, and that's just fine, they are totally entitled to that belief. But for the people out there who don't believe in a God because there just isn't enough evidence...well maybe there is something to be said for having faith. For just knowing something, even though you can't prove it.

Maybe in my life I shouldn't worry about the things I do. Rather than letting things pan out, I have the tendency to try and control situations and the truth is I'm just not that good at it. I sometimes lack the oversight necessary to fully understand situations, and when I see myself in a spot like that, maybe I should just go with the flow. Obviously (or maybe not so much) there are situations that require action, but maybe I can just stop trying to control the situations that are really out of my control.